Stubborn Dreams

Today on the train, instead of half-awake dozing, I was actually studying Spanish verbs half-heartedly. Imperfect. Preterit. I was in one of those seats which don’t leave much personal space (which makes simple actions like getting your SEPTA pass out more difficult since it requires in-seat contorting to avoid hitting the other person). I was debating whether to start a conversation with him about NYC. I found out later that I was sitting next to a native Spanish speaker (when he called his buddy on the phone). How much more value can I get out of actually practicing Spanish with real people versus studying Spanish? How much more will I improve once I get out of my comfort zone and practice conversation with strangers in Spanish? Why do I refuse to listen to Spanish more to train my ear? I think it all comes down to what I believe -I believe I am not ready…[to practice spanish]. I believe I am not ready to [verb/action describing many things I am afraid of]. You’ll never be ready, why don’t you initiate?