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Philly FailCamp win
“One of the best things about failure is expectations. So, for this FailCamp, no expectations.” -Alex
“Success gets between you and others. Failure is easier to relate” -Amy
“You’re like a little boat. You know where you want to go and where you are. But you’re not a big tanker. You can’t go in a straight line; sometimes you have to zig-zag, make constant adjustments.” – Love this analogy about success/failure from a FailCamp participant
I went to Philly’s first FailCamp not knowing what to expect but with an expectation that I would learn from other people’s experiences. Thanks to Alex Hillman and Amy Hoy for keeping the day going and changing the structure when it was needed.
After going around with introductions (lots of Rails developers!), Alex Hillman and Amy Hoy started FailCamp by asking everyone to (anonymously) write down a personal failure experience in one of many categories (dating, business, etc.) on the scrap of paper that they were given. I was expecting them to jump from that into 5-minute failure soapboxes, and I was pleasantly surprised to see how well the failure icebreaker worked. I listened intently as discussion evolved naturally from the initial input of each anonymous initial failure story. Tangents galore. Some stories were fantastic, some we identified with, all were true and personal. We broke for lunch on a high note. Talking about failure was a fun and interesting way to spend a nice Saturday.
After the lunch break, after a while, I felt something changed – the stories were still the same but the discussion became increasingly more abstract. For example, in a discussion about someone’s business, people would start taking the (easy) expert stance – talk in abstractions like ‘compartmentalization is important’, without relating or sharing why they were giving that knowledge as-is or why it was important.
Other people, notably Christine, noticed this change and during the break, she made a suggestion to focus on failures-in-progress not keep exhuming the dead failures from our pasts. After the break, Amy and Alex start-shutdown FailCamp and booted up HelpCamp. HelpCamp was interesting because it was like a support group – all the problems were still very much alive to each contributor and the discussion flowed.
What did I learn? Lessons about failure, even though some lessons can’t be learned third-person; they have to be learned emotionally, it helps. And a tidbit about social vs business filters – if I ask you to do something as a friend, a decision center in the brain is activated. If I pay you to do something (business), a different decision center in the brain is activated. So, when you ask someone to help you move and at the end of the move, you try to pay them (it jars and insults them, at a fundamental level). If someone asks you to lunch to discuss business but is not paying you, what is it? TNSTAAFL.
I didn’t want to do a full recap. At the very least, I thought I’d strip out details. In the spirit of failure (recaps are boring and safe) and feeling the spirit of Zen, I’ve reduced the stories (and sometimes lessons learned) into 5-7-5 haikus…
crashed big server grid
panic call sysadmin friend
true friends can save you
conned out of thousands
capped off by getting mono
survived! and thriving
nine-teen ninety-four
almost started ISP
mentor influence
PhD student
interests have evolved since start
dropping out with tact?
coworking wiki
how to monetize knowledge
free has no value?
young and ambitious
wants to grow non-profit fast
counsel reign her back
non-coder founder
how to find coders out there
who share my passion
son born with issues
challenges make you stronger
ongoing again again
should have left business
12 months ago why did not?
exit strategy!
pricing strategy
charge too much or too little
test out with adwords
have project idea
just atom of molecule
verdict: build it now. why wait!
leaving consulting
feel scared uncomfortable
natural. OK.
a perfectionist
how to start, so many things!
just get it going
new coworking space
how many will sign-up now?
escrow before lease
too many pitches
what if I turned down right one?
pick and make them great
polished presenter
preparation is stressful
flexibility?
burning out with job
wants to quit and go travel
would you regret it?
made awesome software
how to find right salesperson
network maybe start right here
“Oh the Fail I’ve Known”
“Hurry up and lose the first fifty games” – Zen Koan, quoted by Adam Keys in his talk
My notes of Adam Key’s excellent, inspiring talk from RailsConf 2008 about learning and failing. His talk lived up to the expectations from the conference schedule description.
Fail is transitive
Example: Active Web Services is not that great because of SOAP (or as one of the Rails-Core members said “Using SOAP is like eating glass”)
You only learn by falling down
You can get to the point where you are OK in hockey, in which you skate around and get the puck and don’t fall down. But you can’t play hockey well without falling down. Getting back in the fray is what important. You were hockey pads so you can get get back up and get back in the game. Adam said that with the pads on he would dive into the thick of it, throw himself on the puck.
There are two types of learning. 1) Books, others, knowledge 2) By doing it yourself. The latter is harder but much more rewarding.
Iterate on the things that you aren’t good at. Set yourself up to rapidly try different approaches until you get it right.
Make bigger mistakes
Golf is like programming. There is a positive feedback loop based on confidence. Adam was starting up golf again after a hiatus. He found himself using the short clubs which were easier to use but not as powerful. He realized “I need to make bigger mistakes” Might as well make that one big shot, big and impressive. Try the larger clubs, not doing well at it.
Once you get into coding, the feedback loop, it’s easy to get going. Tip: Start day with small bug fixes (go to bug tracking, ta-da, done!) Set yourself a little goal – see how fast you can get it done.
The grass is greener on the other side – it must be great. You’ve just got to get there to try [the other side]. Example: Pragmatic Programmer – learn a new language every year. You really only learn the important bits by doing. New languages, APIs, customers, problem domains.
Get outside of your bubble, technological comfort zone. Adam goes to PHP, Dot.Net conferences. His friends who are in the bubble ask him why.
You always need to be looking for greener pastures but double check that the pastures you thought were green really still are.
Know enough about the domain so you can communicate, don’t need to be an expert. Example: Know enough TCP/IP to talk/communicate to web server guy. Be able to have a conversation with enough knowledge to carry on a useful conversation.
People “hacks”
Study and apply “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. Check your ego at the door. They don’t care who is right, just want progress. Ego is a big source of problems between people. Most of the times when there is conflict, ego is involved.
Practice kindness. Have a kindness surplus every day – so when have a bad day don’t bounce.
Those who annoy you usually annoy you because they mirror some aspect of yourself. 1) Work on being able to deal with that aspect 2) Learn how to work on that aspect within yourself. For #1, Use a buddy as a level set. When you have a bad day, the best way is to talk to a friend. Someone uninvolved who can make you laugh about the silly issues at the project/work.
It’s hard to be an apprentice to Kathy Sierra, David Thomas. But they can still be a passive mentor. You can read and absorb their stuff so you can adapt their values/sense to your own.
Stubborn Dreams 